A Praise

Last week when we went to town on the way as I was studying all that the boys needed. I had this peace come over me that it would all work out. Not a natural peace but a God peace. Tears even started flowing. I spent the rest of the way to town praising God. I knew I needed it when B had his wonderful meltdown in Wal-Mart. LOL not fun! Not something I had ever had to deal with. But, with God's peace I did it with almost grace. I really thought that was why He had told me it would all work out.

Monday I took the boys to the Dr. They are both on several meds. One med you have to get a new script each month, which means a Dr. appointment. I didn't have a pill pusher or even a reg. dr. I prayed HARD made an appointment and we went. I REALLY liked the dr. We discussed the meds and he told me which ones I could adjust and see if they were needed. TD had 2 and B had 3. So that night we didn't do sleeping pills. Boys didn't go to sleep until after midnight. ALL boys! They were required to rock and roll at regular time. I heard whining, I heard excuses I held all three to staying awake all day.

ROUGH is how I would describe Tue. . I was trying to take back order and have children DO instead of just play. B was over the top ODD(obsessive defiant disorder). To the point it is funny, but wearing. He started the day out by going to the barn without shoes. He was set in the cart with the milker and his coat and shoes. He stood up yelling and I pointed out he could set down or fall out, his choice. LOL he sat. He spent most of the barn time NOT putting on his shoes, but his coat was on before we got to the barn. Smart kid! I pointed out he would be walking back to the house. It was cold and muddy. He put his shoes on..... finally. That was the tone of the whole day with him. We went from head butting to head butting ALL day. I was exhausted by bed time. He did earn bed early. Last time that happened we fought for a LONG time before he conceded and went to bed. This time he got his night clothes went to change and found the bathroom occupied, he sat quietly and waited his turn. After he was dressed for bed we had supper, which he ate well. Then nicely ask if he could go to bed. I was shocked!

We didn't do the ADHD meds Tue. morning. TD may have been a tiny bit louder, but here it is hard to tell. Now B was over the top ODD all day. I don't really think it was ADHD just flat out ODD. By bed 8pm TD was BEGGING to go to bed early, he wanted to go read his book. His story About 8:30 we finally let him go. Others followed about 9. It was quite as a mouse up there all night. Wed. morning TD really work on school. He started out saying he was sick at his stomach, but after being fed crackers missing eggs and hot chocolate he recovered. B on the other hand started his day ODD again. Refusing to get out of bed. I went up just before I went to get dressed. I explained that it was his choice if he walked to the barn or if I carried him in his pj's. We WERE going to the barn when I was dressed. His clothes were on the kitchen table. He beat me down stairs! He also beat me dressed! Now I was going slow but still. Yesterday B was almost a different child. Calm, not trying to crawl out of his skin. His ODD isn't showing. He cuddled in my lap while I played eye games with him. He has even been able to say he misses his mom. One thing he does is drool. Ideas? As he was reading to me I would hear the spit building up and have him swallow. If you didn't he would drool. This isn't new, but with him doing seat work more noticeable. His reading is pretty good. Not sure about comprehension yet. He did a math page of very simple addition today no number over 9 in the answer and got them all right. He had to use fingers to do some of them. We were sitting on the couch his writing was better than Tue's horrible writing. I would put his writing at best early 1st grade. I had him him color a page today. Very very 1st grade but he did it. Grand son colored too. In fact he colored a long time on the other side of the bar from me. B did his paper and was done. They were working side by side. Is it possible that B's ADHD meds or others were doing more harm than good? He is also eating better. He is playing much nicer. He is over all a totally different child today. I am just wondering what is going on. The ones we stopped were not suppose to build up in their system. I would say I am totaly loosing my mind but MN is asking what is going on with him and everyone else also sees it.

To really get this you have to understand I spent my time while dealing with a stubborn child Tue. crying out to God wanting to know what He had gotten me into. I was overwhelmed with this small child's ODD and lack of ability. I didn't even know where to start. I got up Wed. morning still crying out to God. My journal is filled with a cry for help. Then B gets up a transformed child! I can't praise Him enough!

Melt downs and other boring life around here...

Kids are doing great. They haven't meshed as siblings yet. I know this because they don't argue yet! All the arguments are between blood siblings. The two groups play nice. It will come as they become more comfortable. There are some disagreements between B and Tiger. B has never been taught to share well. Tiger is 2 he doesn't share yet!

I started this blog about 7. My new boys joined me shortly after that. We all had coffee together. Think shot of coffee cup of milk :) Drinking coffee I have discovered is a bonding time especially with TD. I think his dad let him drink coffee some. He seems to chill and relax and visit more.

It is now after 11 am. I am not getting much written. We have had snow and rain and WIND all morning, temps are just above freezing, wind chill is near 20. Chores were NOT fun. MN went and checked on a nanny that kidded just after dark last night, and just before the rain hit. She found one dead and one cold and not loved. She arrived back with a goat tucked in her coat. After I had 2 legged kids fed and all seeming playing well I ran to feed my sheep. I found a ewe with 2 lambs, fighting both of them. I got out to check closer and found 2 more lambs one almost chilled down. Another ewe did come and claim one, the first ewe decided she would feed one leaving me with 2, one of which was almost chilled down. I tossed them in my 5 gallon feed bucket to keep them in place and from freezing on the ride home.

Brought them in to find that TD and MN are upstairs talking. I went to check, TD had been crying and MN went to "help". I ask if they wanted my help. MN didn't care, so I ask TD who he wanted to talk to? He pointed to MN. So they are talking. TJ and B finished dishes that MN and B were doing when I left. I have found life is good as long as I can keep B from bugging TD.

B is so all over the place I can't decided if I am seeing ODD, or ADHD or just a lack of ever being taught and held accountable. I am starting to lean to no accountability. He "remembers" when he does something wrong. He also doesn't like being ignored with he throws a fit. I really had a hard time keeping it together last night as he threw a fit. I want them near me to fit throw. I won't feed off of it but I want to watch them so he was throwing a fit as son and DIL and I chatted. He yelled and did EVERYTHING to get me to notice him. He even got right in my face and yelled, I looked around him and told son to go on with what he was saying. The frustration on this child's face was priceless! In lulls I would calmly tell him I didn't talk to yelling children, he was welcome to stop yelling and come get in my lap and talk. He decided to go upstairs and rage. "Not a good choice. If you do that you will loose pizza for supper." He would come back and yell and stomp some more. Seems he just might have thought I really would make him skip pizza. :) See he IS smart!!! We did discuss clogging and I even tried a few moves since DIL who does clog was feeding the baby. B didn't seem to see the humor in it. I really think my clogging was better than B's! Finally he came and crawled up in my lap hugging me telling me he didn't mean all the mean things he said, he really liked me. :) We talked and he was fine again. Until the next time, which was less drama than that one.

This morning he was ask to get dressed. He didn't, he was "thinking" said with a big grin. Mom wasn't amused. I just pointed out he had his chance to get dressed now he earned setting time. Oh again we didn't like it. We yelled and cried and I focused on the puter as he tried to get me involved. I would just point out the longer it took the longer before he could be dressed and playing. MUCH shorter fit!

T is busy at this point playing school with B. This is good! I really would like to see what he knows. His language skills are so lacking or communication skills at least. She said he reads pretty well. :)

Right now my days and nights, my waking moments are spent accessing them. Strengths, weaknesses, issues, problems...... What and how I need to deal with each area. I am trying hard to sort the trees from the forest and see which trees need to be trimmed and which ones nurtured and which ones removed.

The number one thing I see with TD is his speech issues are hiding a funny lovable bright kid. He loves to tease and loves to tease ME. He is forever telling me he "broke" something of mine. A dish he is drying or what ever with this grin that melts hearts. If I respond in tune by fussing and teasing he glows.

LOL oh mercy! I have a sex education class going on behind me. MN is "educating" TD on how to tell the difference in boy and girl sheep. TD thinks it is all "gross". Just for the record I have one boy and one girl sheep and one girl goat in the house at the moment.

TJ just brought in her math assessment test she gave B. Writing is HORRILBLE, math skills are at least 1st grade. She didn't give all the test but the part she did he did well on knowledge but writing pffff! He "should" be mid second grade.

Another hour has passed as I worked on updating this and got updates from MN on what they talked about upstairs and talked with kids that made bad choices etc. I guess I will spell check this and see about lunch.

Great Day

Snap shots of our day in no real order.... or if any order backwards from the happenings of the day.

Playing patty-cake with grandad!




Today B turned 8! We had cake and presents for him. He and Tiger were admiring presents.

Great gift wrapping! I hate to wrap. This is a plastic sack with gifts stuck in it. B didn't seem to notice.

After supper and before cake dishes had to be washed and put away. Many hands make light work.

Earlier in the day DIL was playing with K and I took these pictures..

Kids all meshed like old friends. This is less than an hour after boys arrived.

MN showing "her little helper" her scare goat. For those that don't know a scare goat goes stiff and falls over like it just died when startled. It is loads of fun. Her brother gave it to her for helping him.

MN tends to be camera shy too. She was in deep concentration I focused called her name and snapped. :)

TD

MN and B checking out the baby goats.

MN is in heaven! B is her shadow. He is busy helping and just following her around outside.

The day went great! A little snipping about bed time. No fights before they were tired and up past their old bedtime. Nothing that isn't an every day occurrence around here. I think with the added kids to play with it helps B & T not snip as much as they did last weekend.

Today is a new day!

I did get a few chuckles. B is "allergic" to milk. OK, no biggy, but this child eats cheese, ice cream, and yogurt. He was telling me he was "allergic". TD said he didn't know if he would be allergic to fresh milk. We talked about what all B does eat/drink that is milk. I told them what the case file said. I also told them it would be B's decision when or if he wanted to try milk. He then wanted milk! So they both tried the cows milk. Surprise, it taste like milk! :) I think B had one glass at supper and T had two.

TD said he doesn't like taking his meds. I agreed I didn't either and told him in time we would work at getting him off of them. I pray each time I give them that they aren't needed. Everyone else here is also standing in agreement. TD takes I think it is three, and B takes 5! Three times a day I am handing out pills.

S is enjoying her vacation, very upbeat and just waiting on her birthday and a ride to AR. Not missing us at all. We keep praying.

Gotcha Day and........

Today the boys come! I am excited and nervous. Kids are excited and having bad behaviours so things are about normal around here :)

Last night we came home to this:

Yes, she's a girl!!! We named her December.

She IS tiny!


I just liked this picture of Grizzle. He isn't finished growing yet.

No real news on the S front. We are still praying. She is still planning to go back to AR in 3 weeks. My friends have noticed how immature she is. Their assessment is she can't survive on her on. That is pretty much ours too. You can't get her to see reality. She has it in her head all is going to fall into place to live happy ever after. All she as to do is show up to have the life she wants. Please keep praying!

God's Awesome Answer!!

A wonderful adoptive friend whom I have known for many years on line offered to allow S to come stay with her family for a cooling off time. A time for us to welcome the boys and a time for us to lower the frustration level between S and us. We organised all the plans on the sly. This morning we announced "ROAD TRIP!". We gave S a list of stuff to pack. She will also be going on a mission trip while she is visiting. Then we all loaded in the excursion and off we went for parts unknown. No one knew where.

Once we started around the loop in San Antonio we explained to S what was happening. That she had made it totally clear she wasn't happy here. She was miserable and wanted everyone here to feel the same way. It wasn't fair to B & T or anyone else. She would be visiting with friends for a while. We told her we care enough to fight for her. We care enough to allow her to stay with friends where maybe she will be more happy.

I also explained that her stuff was going to be moved to a storage building and one months rent paid on the building. This, of course, after it is gone through and anything that isn't hers removed. I explained how storage buildings work. If she runs away I flush the key. Once she is 18 I will give her the key and the paper work for the unit and the location. It then becomes her problem as to if the rent is paid or they auction it off. She will be an adult and that would be an adult choice.

She did show a little emotion as we left. We did get hugs. I reminded her I loved her enough to fight for her. I reminded her again she is welcome back home.

Please everyone pray that this move is a blessing. That the new approach will help her. Here is my friends take on it:

I plan on using reality on her. Telling her that I am not here to babysit
her but help her to transition to adulthood (we all know it doesn't
magically happen on one birthday!). Such innocent questions as: do you have
your high school diploma, no, uhhhh well a GED? No, hmmmm, we will pick up
an application from McDonalds to make sure you know how to do that. Hmmmm,
can you do change? If the bill is $2.25 and they give you $5.25 how much
change do you give? Do you have a drivers license? Probably best you don't
since you won't afford a car working for minimum wage anyways. Is there a
bus system where you plan on going? Finally, are you definate that your
biomom is going to pick you up? What are your plans if she doesn't show
up? DD is planning on working on the "you are being a fool to give up
what you have" route.

Her DD is adopted and spent FIVE years wanting her bio mom before reality struck. They do understand where we are. They do understand our frustration and tears and hearts desires for her. They won't be suckered by puppy dog eyes and sad stories. They have fostered many years and adopted several kids so they have BTDT. It should be interesting!

Just finding a cooling off place and it being OFFERED not begged for is an act of God! I pray great things out of this for S.

Solution.......... maybe

Everyone keep praying! I may have found a short term solution to our unwanted house guest issue. I am not going into details but please pray that everything falls into place for this to happen. I think it would be healthy for everyone involved.

She is at this point very toxic in our home. Please pray for her that God is going to reveal to her His truth no matter how much she doesn't want to accept it.

Sunset and........

One grand daughter picture! :) Isn't she beautiful?

Not sure which picture I like best of the sunset today. They are all a gift from God.

What is YOUR pick?

Heart of Motherhood Enrichment

We invite you ….
H.O.M.E.
Heart of Motherhood Enrichment
Friday, February 5, 2010- Sunday, February 7, 2010

1 Thessalonians 2:7 “…we cared for you the way a mother
cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just
pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. (The Message Bible)
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest Walk with me and work with me, watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” Matthew 11:28-30 (The Message Bible)

If you occasionally need a “pick-me-up and “fill-my-cup Lord” weekend, then join us as we look to God to give us a clearer, burden free path of raising and discipling our families. God desires for us to have peace, joy, and even rest on our motherhood journey! The Heart of Motherhood Enrichment retreat is a retreat for moms that need to be encouraged, inspired and uplifted by the Word of God. Join us this year as we welcome a group of Godly women as our speakers: Elaine Russo, Kristi McClellan, Molly Criner, Cindy McCloy, and Nola Jones.

Where: Heart of Texas Bible Camp, Brownwood Texas

Cost: $99.00 This cost includes: your lodging, 6 meals (Dinner Fri. evening through Lunch Sun. ) many blessings and a retreat packet. Registration deadline is January 22nd .
As a part of our ministry we believe in feeding your body with God given healthful foods. Our meals will be served with whole grains, fresh fruit and vegetables, preservative free, home-baked, nutritious and delicious!!!

What to Bring: Bedding, toiletries, free time projects, ears to hear, a heart to receive and your Bible.

Friday:
5:00 to 6:00 Arrival
6:00 Welcome
6:15 Dinner
7:00 Praise and Worship
7:30 Session#1
9:00 Pajama Tea Party!
(Bring your favorite tea cup)
Saturday:
8:00 A.M. Breakfast
9:00 Praise and Worship
9:20 Session#2
10:30 potty break
10:45 Session #3
12:00 Lunch
Free Time
3:00 Electives
6:00 Dinner
7:00 Praise and worship
7:20 Session#3
9:00 Prayer and candle lighting
Sunday:
8:00 Breakfast
9:00 Praise and Worship
9:30 Session #5
10:30 Testimonies and sharing
12:00 Lunch
Pack up and head home!

We will have a selection of helpful books and nutritional supplements available for purchase!
Registration Information:
Please e- mail your registration information to heartofmotherhood@gmail.com
include your name, address, phone number, and e-mail address. You have several payment options. If you would like to pay on line let us know and we will send you an invoice where you can use your pay pal account, credit card, or debit card.
We do have a scholarship fund. Our desire is for anyone wanting to attend to be able to. Contact Julie for scholarship information.
If you would like to contribute to the scholarship fund you can when you register. If 10 ladies contribute $10.00 you will bless someone with a full scholarship to retreat.

On a up note.........

Fun from this weekend!

Their were LOTS of ponds full of geese. MN who loves geese kept wishing we had brought the trailer. :) I can just see her herding wild Canadian geese into the trailer. We laughed about it.


We stopped and saw a prairie dog field. They are such fun critters!

More pictures of kids playing. Don't go by color of jackets to tell who is who. B got cold and Tj was hot so he is wearing her jacket in some of these.

Sand castles in the park.....

We talked to the boys last night. They both said they were excited to be coming to live with us. I am glad. Prayers are working. Foster mom said they didn't have issues after we dropped them off or at school yesterday. That is good. So often kids act out after a visit.

Today I am working on our family closet for all the kids. Rearranging and getting it set up.

Kids are busy doing school and chores so they can help with getting ready for B&T. They are very excited. We talked about teaming chores next week to teach them how. I will team MJ and TD. MN and B will be the other team. I even talked about teaching the to do it correctly not like they do chores part of the time. :) Life is good! We are blessed! Thanks for all the prayers!

Encouragment....

My BIL sent me this. I printed each child a copy that wanted it.

LET IT GO FOR 2006...
By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this!
When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving
you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you.
I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk.
Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you.
And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over.
And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead. You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something.
I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you .......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents...
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in
Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed .
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself
and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for 2006!!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left... think about it, and then ...
LET IT GO!!!

It so fit! I know some think it is getting the new boys that is causing this behaviour. While it may play a small part. Much MUCH of this has been lurking for as long as we have had her. When it came time to "adopt" we weren't even sure she would go through with it. We also weren't sure what name she would choose. Really, we were shocked when she chose our last name and changed her other names.

Many things I have saw but refused to put into words. I refused to give life to the choices that I saw, or thought I saw. I just held her accountable and prayed for real change. Therapist and I have talked many times about faking it until she makes it. Praying it would rub off and she really would change like the surface changes that we both saw.

She has never "attached" to the young people at church. She has kept all relationships superficial. She sorta attached to one friends DD, that has more computer access. Yes, she used this friend and her computer to contact people in AR that CPS had forbid, and we had honored their wishes. This type behaviours are sad. She would call this "friend" and have her check her email to see if they had contacted her. Wouldn't you LOVE a friend like she is?

She IS still here and we ARE still praying for her to realize what is at stake. I did share what God showed me about her health. MN has ask her and told her she has no clue what she is opening herself up for. All seems to fall on deaf ears. I do KNOW that I serve a God of miracles and He is still in the miracle business. Please continue to pray.

As for the rest of us, it is HARD. MN and I both are struggling. So many things I can't relate with what MN has been through. I am always honest with her and tell her I can't say I understand because I don't. This time though I get it! She and I both tend to be the type that "shut down" when we are hurting. So both of us are working to not shut down. More accountability between us.

No Regrets....

DH finally confronted S last night about leaving. She had again given us the silent treatment all day long. When we got home she again went up stairs and re-organized all her packing. Giving the kids this and that like throwing crumbs. Crumbs that they didn't want or like. They kept bringing it down here going????? I was like if you don't want it, put it in the give away sacks. So they did! One thing was a pretty horse pillow. MN loves anything with horses, yet she said it was given for the wrong reasons and it went straight to the give away sack.

When DH ask if she was planning on leaving she said yes. He told her he agreed to keep her until she was 18 and he would fulfill his promise. I don't know what else was said but she ask to be un-adopted. This was all a nice calm conversation. I wasn't involved in it. I knew I wouldn't be calm. It wasn't said in anger.

I am sad. My heart hearts at the what should have beens. I am more than ready for her to leave if she can't be a part of the family. The sulking is driving me nuts. I feel most sad in that we wanted to offer a young woman a forever home. A home that she could come back to for holidays. A home to bring her kids to visit. An anchor in this wild world. Some where some young woman was cheated out of this because of the games that S has chosen to play. Would we adopt an older teen again? YES! Again, no regrets for what we did, just how it is turning out.

We could use some prayers as those of us stuck at home all day with her are at about the boiling point. Last night as we talked as a family, without S, everyone was expressing frustration and anger. Not so much that she is leaving, they would load her stuff today, but at the attitude and games. As we talked God showed me we have been a covering, a protection for S from Him. Because of our choices and our actions she has been healed of many things. She came on 5+ meds. She has been healed of depression, of ADHD, of nightmares, of allergies, of asthma. She came on meds for all of this stuff, yet now she is on none. Once she steps from under our covering, our protection then her sins will again bring on sickness and disease. This was a time for her to learn. I pray she learned, but in honesty don't think she learned a thing.

I honor my husband in fulfilling his promise to keep her until she is 18. At this point I don't want to. That is sad I know. Am I angry? I have ask my self that many times. At times, yes, most of the time, no just sad that dreams didn't turn out the way we dreamed. I am frustrated and fed up with the games. I don't play games well. I hate games. I can't imagine playing a game for 18 months!

This 18 months hasn't been terribly hard. She is so shallow and compliant she just transforms into what ever the people around her want her to be. Yet, in 18 months there has been no trust built. I wouldn't dream of leaving her alone here at the house. I wouldn't dream of trusting her alone with my grandchildren. She has never learned to drive. She has really learned very little. She just exist. What a sad life! My heart does hurt for her. I pray that some of what she saw modeled here rubbed off. That she can be a parent. I'm sure she will be within a year or so unless she isn't fertile.

Sunday Morning

Full Hotel suite! All as went pretty well. B and TD are awake. I think TD woke up and then woke B. :) We had a great day yesterday. We met at McD. Then went to the Science Spectrum. It is a really neat place. LOTS of hands on things to do. Then a movie at the Omni. I loved the movie. Dh loved the nap. Not sure what B and TD thought of the movie. They seemed to like it. Other kids liked it.

Over all the take on the boys is they are "sweet". I think they ARE sweet. B is very much the baby and plays it . TD has such a sad face. He is warming to us on the surface, but lots of deep eye sadness. Please pray. I know we can heal that with the power of God. Their speech is terrible. It dawned on me this morning almost a cartoon speech. Fast and hard to understand. B calls MJ his "buddy". He decided that before he ever met him. :) This is good for MJ and will (I hope) help him rise to being more responsible.

I am chanting lower the volume as they all play with the army guys in the floor. Every keep 3 boys and 2 on low volume when they first wake up? It isn't easy!

Today is suppose to be warmer. I hope we can go play in a park. I don't know what time we will get away to go home.

The case worker is planning on placing them the 21st which is B. birthday. I just ask him what he wants for his birthday. He wanted a hot wheels cake. Er not happening. So he settled for chocolate.

The boys liked their blankets. They slept with them last night. B is setting holding his. I did laugh as B talks a LOT about Tonka trucks. His is Tonka dump trucks. God is so good!

Most of the crowd is dressed and ready for breakfast. I guess I better get motivated and follow. Everyone have a blessed day.

Saturday..........Finally!

I gave up about 5 and got up. On the surface I don't feel excited. I guess I am. I am also nervous. I am praying that all goes well this weekend. Boys are starting to get excited. I am glad. T hasn't thrown up in several days. The power of prayer! I know many many are praying.



Other news, S is working on trying to win the drama award. It really is hard to win the award without an audience. She has decided she is leaving. (This is according to the information stairway.) She spent yesterday packing. I spent yesterday ignoring her drama or laughing at it. I really don't know why she decided yesterday to pack. Kids would go up to see what she was doing now, come back and report. Since she isn't speaking to me all my information is more in the form of gossip.



She did come down with a letter in hand a while after dad got home. Information stairway had said she was going to have dad take her and all her stuff to the bus last night or this morning. (Stuff=probably more junk than a back seat would hold.) She came down while we were discussion bus options. We looked up and went back to discussion bus options. I was downloading a book on CD. We talked bus and CD and she sighed. We talked CD and bus and she sighed. Subject changed, life went on all the while she is setting there in her dramatic pose with her letter in hand. Finally it was stated that they all needed showers. She jumped at the chance and scurried back upstairs with her letter. Came back down in PJ's with no letter. I saw her snacking on the banana bread. Earlier when ask she had said she wasn't eating. Bed time came and we both got hugs. No kiss and no "I love you." Oh the drama!

I'm really not sure all her drama got her very far. Kids were excited she was packing. Could they have...... :) No tears from anyone, except maybe some crocodile tears from her. We talked about how we would miss her, but life would go on. I refuse to do the drama. This was high end drama! Even my other drama queen was disgusted. That says a lot. We talked about what life lessons each one could learn from this. How she has no plan. How she has no education. How silly it all sounds. This while school and packing and chores went on. Kids did ask dad if he would take her to the bus IF she ask. He assured them that if that is what she wanted he would be more than happy to take her, on her 18th birthday. That is in about 3 weeks. I'm sure that will be relayed to the drama queen.

I have been doing a lot of thinking as she does this drama. We knew going into adopting a teen it might be for a short time. We were offering a forever home, but they might not receive it. We have talked to S about it. How this is home as long as she wants. We will always be family. For what ever reason she just doesn't seem able to "attach". I guess the lure of the wild life is more than she can deal with. She has always had a mind set at 18 she would be kicked out. While this isn't the case at all, she seems to be bent on following through. I do know God called us to adopt her. I have no regrets. Nothing I would have done different. She will leave here when she does with a better education. She has an almost 8th grade education instead of the 3rd grade she came with. She is much healthier physically. She came on 5 meds, she is on none now. She has a much better understanding of nutrition. She knows sugar is not her friend and will send her spiraling back onto meds. I doubt she will follow through with avoiding sugar, but she does know it reacts badly in her body. By being around young moms and babies she has more knowledge of how to nurture a baby. Seeds have been sown on what a good marriage looks like. She has saw healthily families and relationships. I continue to pray that God will work in her heart and she won't leave at 18. I know she really REALLY isn't ready for the world. I also know God gave each of us free choice and I have to allow her to exercise it. I want great things for her, but I can't force feed them to her. The saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" really applies here. We want her to stay to get her high school diploma and a college education. She wants ............ Arkansas, and all that has to offer.

Please keep her in prayer. Please keep us in prayer as we travel this weekend. Please keep the boys in prayer as they meet us. Pray that we jell as a family. That the spark is there. Please pray the drama is over for a while. Please pray that critters and stuff at home functions ok whle we are gone.

Thanks All!

Friday.........

My bag is packed for tomorrow. I have the boy's blankets in the car. Trail mix is bought for traveling. We are set to go! Well I am! Kids are in different stages of packing. Dh hasn't packed yet. Camera is loaded already. I yo-yo between being excited and totally terrified!

In other news S is still pouting. Or what every you want to call it. We are all pretty muchly getting the silent treatment. I guess it should be bothering me a lot more than it is. I did ask her last night why she has been giving me the silent treatment or near silent treatment. Maybe it is her hearing. I had to repeat it twice. She mumbled about "not knowing" and left the room. I did point out I thought I knew, but guess she wasn't interested in hearing my idea, or didn't hear me. Such is life!

I am almost out of fruit from my over buying before Thanksgiving. I bought a case of bananas, we have oh maybe 10 left. I used half of what we had for cranberry/banana bread this morning. It is cooking in the oven. I made 4 loaves. If we eat 2 today we can take 2 to snack on.

They say we are to warm up and be sunny today. It is 11:00 and I am still looking for sun. Maybe it will clear off. I think my DS is going to bring me something to do. Since I am bored and have nothing going on. I don't know how many more nannies I am getting. :) Yes, MN and I are excited. She is as good at checking as I am, or better. She doesn't yet have the knowledge always to deal, but then I don't either, I just deal! They won't be checked good this weekend, but we will start Monday watching them correctly.

Life is never dull! Off to see who else I can make mad :) or get stuff done around here. All be blessed!

My Day....

It IS Tue. isn't it? It has been a busy day. I was gifted with a really cool gift today. Anyone that has a 17 yo, a CHATTER box will understand the gift. She was mad at me so I got the silent treatment most of the day. I was deeply hurt! .......... NOT! Why, you ask was she mad? Well mom's new chant is, "In my opinion that's a lie." EVERY time in my opinion it IS a lie. She seems to find that uncomfortable. Hey, if she doesn't like it, then don't lie! Simple solution right?

Other things I accomplished today. I layed out tied blankets for the boys, pinned them and cut them. MJ and T did the tying as they were done with school. MJ did most of the tieing. I was so pleased at how they turned out. Here is B's.

He likes trucks.

For T's I was really struggling. I had prayed about it and ask God to show me what to get. I found this and had no idea if he would like it or not.

The night after I bought it when we were talking T said he liked cats. I think he will like this don't you?

Lets see I also had a visitor on my porch:

She was standing at the front door when I grabbed the camera, but wondered off as I was getting out the door. This is Hershey. I had stuck her in the yard to see if she would eat some grass that needed trimming. She was more like a big dog than a cow as you can see.

Dh took down some cabinets over the weekend in the laundry room/pantry. I then had room to put full wall shelves up instead of under cabinet ones. I set those up and moved stuff around. The shelves are not quite as good in I can't put two full size produce crates on them, but they are sturdy and 5 shelves high.

I dropped off molasses tubs for the stock and got this picture of Baby's calf.

I checked stock and discovered that my billy goat was back side down in the cotton seed. I have my doubts he will live. I am guessing they got to fighting or he got bumped by a cow and ended up with his feet higher than his back, yesterday or the day before. I really thought he was dead. I went to drag him out of the cotton seed and discovered he wasn't. He was WAY to heavy for me to load in the ranger. I studied about it a minute. I planned on stirring the cotton seed anyway. So I just went and got the bobcat. Stirred the cotton seed then loaded him in the bucket. Delivered him to the barn. :) Hey you do what you have to do! It worked!

Seems like I did other stuff to, besides trying to keep kids on track with school. Some days that is a full time job.

Continue to pray for B and T as they are adjusting to this idea. T is doing better! He hasn't thrown up since yesterday. Both boys are excited about getting to meet us this weekend.

Monday Morning Pictures.....

I am trying to catch a few daily snapshots of life to share with the boys when we talk each night. I thought I would share here too....
Nosie and her new baby...


Isn't she pretty!?

See how tiny...

S feeding the goose.

I think I solved part of my feeding baby problem, maybe....

I had three of them on Hershey this morning, I am shooting for feeding all 5 by tomorrow night.



Side note: Check out "My Daugthers Poems" http://mydaughterspoems.blogspot.com/ for a new poem and keep looking as I have told her she can put one a day if she finishes school and chores.

Life is Never Dull....

Today is T's birthday. She ask for a cherry cheese cake. That seems to be the pick around here. It is SOOOOOOO easy! I love making it. Buy two big boxes of instant pudding, vanilla or lemon or vanilla. Make a big batch of cream cheese, or go buy 2 packages. We make ours :). Cream the cream cheese with about as much milk as it calls to make pie filling on the package. I never measure, just add. Once your cream cheese is mixed well dump your pudding mix in. Mix it and pour it into a graham cracker crust 9x11 baking pan. Chill it for a bit if you have time. Then top with one or two cans of cherry pie filling. Chill some more or serve. If you have ever had the Cherry-O-Cream Cheese pie off the eagle brand milk you have an idea of what this taste like. I like it better with one vanilla and one lemon pudding mix.

If you are really lazy or if your child thinks doing the cherries is a treat let them top it. It is a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun watching her. She really did top the cake before she cleaned the cans. I think the cans were REALLY clean when she was done.

Final product! Before we attack er eat it!

In other news around this zoo............ Nosey, one of my milk cows calved today. It's a girl! She is a beautiful silvery color. As we were checking her out I discovered I had three lambs on the ground. :) I had been kinda of worried with the big puppies if they would respect mamas or not. Seems they are. On the way back I found this......

What you are looking at is a very tiny, yes that is a dishpan, baby goat. Mama was way way to young and had zero milk. She was standing there like now what? I didn't even bother messing with her. I have serious doubts if this baby will live. It is to tiny and preemie. I did get a little colostrum down it and allowed Rosie (dog) to wash it clean. It can hold it's head up and it can bleat some.

Life just keeps getting more interesting and interesting as I try to make life simple for some poor soul next weekend. Now I have TWO cows that HAVE to be milked, 5 easy to feed babies and this one! This one will either be up and going through 4x4 wire or dead.

Mostly Pictures....

Evening Chores.......

Pet the cats while you fill bottles. We use a thermos to keep the milk warm.

Find a spot to set and feed a bottle to a goat.

Lots of good helpers feeding babies.

Mom checks on very very pregnant cows.