Monday, August 26, 2013

Another Essential Oil Post

I am in love with oils even more as they probably kept me from a doctor’s visit last week and antibiotics.   I developed a pain in my big toe Wed. morning.  At first it felt like I had bumped it and maybe cut the top between the nail bed and the first joint.  I ignored it.   The pain got worse.   I ignored it.  Finally it was bad enough it felt like I had kicked a step as hard as possible with my big toe.  I could hardly walk on it.   I pulled my five fingers off to discover my big toe was BIG and inflamed all the way to the foot joint.   It  HURT.  

I started aggressively battling it both in prayer and in the natural.  Wed. afternoon I think I used several oils, soaked it in Epson salt, used the stinking stuff for muscles, first the non doTERRA stinking stuff, since I really dislike the smell of Deep Blue, then the Deep Blue, used arnica,   more oils, more soaking, ice, all the while the pain is getting worse my toe is red/purple, now the whole toe.  No way my five fingers will work.  My crocs HURT. 

I do more reading on oils and infection.   I start using Frankincense, oregano, On Guard, followed by heat.  Each time I apply oils I pray over my toe, telling it to line up, that it is healed.  I thank God for the oils and the knowledge to use them. I stop the spread of the redness.  It stops hurting as bad.   I continue doing this on Thur.  Before I went to town and when I got home.  It still hurts, but the swelling is less the redness has retreated back to just the toe.  


Thursday night I read to use the different blends on an infection to get a broader spectrum effect.  I pull out my Purify.  I add it to the mix, using On Guard some and Purify some, Always with Frankincense and Oregano, followed by my warm corn bag.  My toe is improving slowly the deep red/purple is gone, left in the foot/first joint is a bruising on the bottom of my foot.  It hurts but I can again wiggle my toe.  I couldn’t on Wed.  It was to swollen/painful to move.  Pain is MUCH less though.  It is healing. 


Friday I continue to battle, but the toe is looking much better, feeling much better.  It has developed a crusty, yucky dried yellowish something around the edge of the toe nail.  Much like if you peel an orange and let the juice dry on your nails.   I discover that peroxide boils when poured on it.  So I add that to my attack.  Each day it is better.   By Sunday morning it was much like a bad ingrown toenail.  By Sunday night it was much like a so so ingrown toenail, still with a pretty serious red area between the nail bed and first joint. 

This morning almost all the redness is gone!!!!  It is still sore if I curl my toe tight, but the pain is almost gone!

 I have no idea what caused this attack.  I hadn’t had an ingrown toe nail or cut or bruise, anything.  It was serious enough quick enough I knew if it didn’t start the other way quickly I would have to break down and go to the doctor.  I can’t say enough good about the oils and how they changed the direction of this infection so quickly.   Yes, Frankincense is expensive, but even if I had used the whole bottle, which I didn’t it would have been cheaper than walking into the dr. office.   I doubt I used $50 worth of oils in all the oiling I was doing, even though I was putting several oils on several times a day.   I avoided the use of antibiotics and the $$$ of a Dr. visit, not even discussing what other yuck I would come in contact with while at the doctors.  I will continue to oil and apply heat at least twice a day until the rest of the redness and tenderness is gone.  I will continue to praise God for my healing each time I apply oils and each time I think of my toe throughout the day.  I give Him the credit!   I thank Him for bringing me into the world of Essential oils.  

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

A Letter to Her Bio Dad:


Dear Dad,

        It’s me…. Your daughter. I am not sure if you think of me or not. However, I still remember you. I remember your shouts… your cursing. I remember you hurting me… stealing my virginity like a robber steals money. I think of the things you had said to me. The curses you planted in my young soul haunted me. I remember lots of things about you…

What breaks my heart most… is that when you weren’t drunk or high; you were the best father. You would sing, hug me and play… We would ride around in your black car with the top down while the radio blared in our ears. I cherish those memories.

You have brought much pain and tears. I have forgiven you for what had happened. I look at the children around me and I wonder… How could anyone curse a young one? Or rob them of their innocence?

Dad, I don’t’ want to belittle you… I wish you were here. I wish you could see your little girl grow up. I wish you could see… I love you, dad. I love you with everything I have, I dream one day I will see you again, I will hug you and tell you, “Dad, I love you. I forgive you… and thank you.”

I have used my past to help me. The pain has made me stronger, the fear has made me braver, I have torn down the walls that kept me from loving. God has taught me to love. I don’t consider you as a enemy… nor a father… just a long lost friend.

I used to hate you… but now I love you…

I want to thank you… for me. You helped create me. I can share my past… my pain… my truimphs… and my amazing Saviour.

My greatest wish… Is that one day I will walk with you down a golden street… In Heaven.

I once was blind, but now I see…

That though you aren’t here… you will always be a part of me.

I have learned to let go…

My love is what I have to show.

I will see you again…

Then we will begin-

Our walk on those golden streets…

So rise from your sleep…

For you were lost…

But now are found…

Amazing Love….

 

~Love~

Marie J.

~Your Daughter~

Making Mesquite Bean Flour

Last week my 15 yo decided to make flour out of mesquite beans.  First she picked a bunch of dry
After she brought them home we spread them on cookie sheets for a while until they snapped real sharply.

 Then came grinding!  Vitamix time!  

 I found it interesting as tough as a vita mix is it wouldn't grind the husk.  It would pop them open and grind the inter seed but the husk were not ground.   We sifted the flour leaving just husk which we added to water and made mesquite bean tea.   It was interesting.   I think it would be better hot than cold. 
 Here is our finely ground flour.  On Sunday she made cornbread substituting the WW Flour.  Using the same amount of mesquite bean flour to corn meal.   She added no sugar but the flavor was extremely sweet.   It is something we will make again. 
She gathered more to dry.  I think she turned the oven up just a little too much on them.  They are browner.   I broke out my old grain mill to see how it worked. I think for this the vita mix works much better.  The mill cannot grind the husk either, but instead of the inter seed being ground it remained intact.   We will finish off with the vita mix. 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Tossing Star Fish...


Tuesday night we discovered our pond was "turning over".  It is caused by the heat of summer and the overgrowth of red algae.  In the ocean it is called red tide.   As we battled to aerate the pond until midnight gathering the big catfish and blue gill that were struggling to breath near the edge and to stressed flee, tossing them into the metal tank, I was reminded of this story. 
“While wandering a deserted beach at dawn, stagnant in my work, I saw a man in the distance bending and throwing as he walked the endless stretch toward me. As he came near, I could see that he was throwing starfish, abandoned on the sand by the tide, back into the sea. When he was close enough I asked him why he was working so hard at this strange task. He said that the sun would dry the starfish and they would die. I said to him that I thought he was foolish. there were thousands of starfish on miles and miles of beach. One man alone could never make a difference. He smiled as he picked up the next starfish. Hurling it far into the sea he said, "It makes a difference for this one." I abandoned my writing and spent the morning throwing starfish.”
I thought of this story as we circled the pond over and over for 2 days trying to rescue a few.  Tears flowed as we took dead fish to the dump.  Yet, those we caught and tossed in the other tank seem to have survived.  We didn't save all of them, but we did save some.   Last night we fed them and saw a few of the catfish left feeding a bit.  It helped make me feel better.  I felt so helpless trying to save them.   I did find it neat one of the big cats we fished out early in the battle only had one eye, the other one had been damaged I guess, it was just a scar.  

Kids tried to save some minnows by tossing them in the metal tank.  Lets just say the huge over gentle blue gill was very welcoming to the minnows.  They didn't last long!  I know that we lost a lot of minnows, but I think we still have a LOT of minnows still in the pond.  We lost very few of the blue gill, so we should still have them.  We lost a LOT of catfish, but will be thankful for those we saved.  Not sure how many we have in the metal tank now, more than need to be there I'm sure.  I hope as they start feeding again we can dip net them and return them to the pond.  

We did learn from this. One thing we learned is that when this red algae starts to do it's thing to add alum to the water to change the pH.  The red algae makes the waters pH way off way high.  Alum brings the pH down.  Alum is aluminum sulfate.  We put about 5 lbs of it in the pond Tue. night.  Even after that we lost fish, or they floated to the top.   It was very sad to me, and they were just something enjoyable, not our finical provision, or food source. 

After we had done all we could and it was just a matter of time on the pond I thought of something else.  Is it really different taking in these children that are washed up on the tide of misfortune, unwanted, un loved, uncared for.  We can't save every child and if you allow yourself to look at all the children around the world that need saving it is overwhelming.  Yet, when we reach out, we make a difference for one.   Isn't that what it is all about.  (Maybe save isn't even the right word, but give a kid a better chance.  From there it is then the kids choice if they swim or sink back into what they came from.)   I have just been musing on this as I think of the starfish story and the fish.  I really think just maybe each of my kids is a starfish.  I know that we have impacted each of them in good ways, even Sarah who isn't walking the way we want.  We sowed seeds, and it is God's problem to get them watered.   I don't know what the future holds for any of them. I pray that what we have sowed into them will help them swim.  That they will each go forth into adult hood stronger and more able than if we hadn't been giving the opportunity to be apart of their life.  

It has been a draining stressful week.  I don't function well with lack of sleep. We were up until midnight on Tue, then up and outside again trying to keep saving fish by 6 AM Wed. morning.  I helped until I had to leave to go get bug boy.  :)   Drove 4 hours round trip to get him.  Having a new kid of any age is much like having a new baby.  Every one's position changes.  New one is trying to find the boundaries.  That is stressful as you have to stay alert and sit those boundaries.   Much like a new mom goes to bed trying to figure out what to do to be ready for the next day, being the new mom of an almost 11 yo is no different.  It is exhausting!  Life is never dull and always an adventure.  I am highly blessed.  Sometimes it is hard and very challenging, but I know that I'm a better person for the walk I have walked.    Prayers are always appreciated as this walk is always made easier with prayers. 
 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Numb…

Sometimes she writes for herself, some times for others.  When she writes it flows.  This one took less than 2 hours from start to finish.   Leave a commit and let her know what you think. 


Numb…

 

My world is shaking…

My heart is breaking.

 

I want to cry…

But, I can’t seem to try.

 

You break my trust…

You desire your lust.

 

With every lie…

My heart lets out a sad sigh.

 

To you, it might be dumb…

But, I feel so numb.

 

What should I feel?

How should I deal?

 

This isn’t what I wanted…

These images seem haunted.

 

When I see you, I want to shout…

Will you ever change? I can’t help but doubt.

 

It might seem dumb…

But, I am so numb.

 

Tell me how to cope…

I watch hopelessly as you flail on this slope.

 

Your life is in your hands…

Tell me how you aim to land.

 

Everyone dies, but not everybody lives…

 

Knowing its your choice…

It leaves my eyes moist.

 

I continue to pray…

Maybe you will change some day.

 

I have no hope…

I am just trying to cope.

 

It might be dumb…

But, I am numb.

 

I still love you…

There’s nothing I can do.

 

I am finished…

You made this blemish.

 

I won’t allow myself to be blamed…

It’s your choice all the same.

 

It’s your life…

This isn’t my strife.

 

This is the only way…

That I can say…

 

There’s nothing I can do…

But when you go; I will miss you.

 

One day, you will look back and see…

That is wasn’t so dumb…

 

When I … was numb.

 

~Marie J.~

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Eb and Flow of life in Our Home

Last night I started to write a blog about the peace that flows in my home.  Not quiet but peace.  It didn't get very far until I had a 6 year old standing in front of me with a book for me to read.   That caused my computer to be sit aside.  Instead of reading to a 6 yo, I had the 6 yo, the 3 yo and the 1 yo all in my lap in the rocking chair while I read.  Yes, it was a full chair!   After that life moved on to getting a sticker out of 3 yo's thumb.  That caused many tears.  Which in turned caused more cuddling and rocking from Granola.  Bottom line is I didn't get the blog post written.  So I thought I would try again this morning.  Maybe it will be calmer to do it.

I was reminded I wanted to capture the moment as I sit here listening to my 17 yo sing Amazing Grace as she works on finishing her school for the year.  In 6 months she has accomplished a years worth of school.  She is working on final test this morning.  Her voice isn't amazing, but her heart shining through her voice is.  I love listening to her hum or sing softly as she works. I am just touched to hear the peace in her soul. 
 I love this picture I took on Thursday, it so captured her sweet child spirit. 
 

Last night was flowing with life and love and noise.  As 12 yo practiced her guitar in the next room, 14 yo was busy making supper with the help of first a 3 year old then before he was finished he had all three grands.  They were sprinkling cheese on his creation for him.   I love watching how my teen boys treat the littles.  They LOVE them.  Both boys become putty in the two girls hands.  It is both touching and funny.   The girls both know who to go to for what ever. 

Today the 17 yo is excited to get a visit from her "big sister".  She was apart of the Big Brothers Big Sisters program for several years.  This is her big sister the whole time.   She is making the drive out and taking her for a fun day.  I am excited for her. 

Seventeen yo just told me me she passed her Bible and now her Math test for the year!  This is on the first try!  So much growth!   So much self confidence!  

Last night my 15 yo wrote a children's book for her nephew for his birthday.  I was amazed at the ease she wrote this wonderful book for him then illustrated it.  I hope he likes it as much as I did.  I pray she is able to use this wonderful God given talent.

This morning after a slow start where dh and enjoyed the wonderful morning on the front porch.  I experimented with making biscuits with oats and flax instead of wheat.  They were good!   Even dh said they were good... for biscuits.  He doesn't like biscuits ever.  

Seventeen year old is chugging right along with her test.  She has ONE left and has passed all of them!  This is a huge improvement.  When she started out in Feb. she couldn't pass anything the first try.  Remember a second try wasn't just redoing the whole section if you fail a test.  She has redone a LOT over the 6 months, but less and less as she gets this figured out that she is smart and she can do.

Life flows around here.  It is never quiet!  Girls are now cleaning the kitchen.  They sing "My Little Pony, then switch to something else then on to another snippet of an unidentified song.  Giggles flow as they do this.   Boys are busy getting the bobcat ready to work today. 



 

Monday, July 22, 2013

Catching up on my world!

On Friday we took both our bug boy, and 17 yo's brother back to our meet in the middle spot.   It was bittersweet.   We enjoyed the week.  It was over all very good.   It was interesting and stressful as I spent the week in observation mode.   What would work best for him?  How will he mesh in our home?  What are his triggers?  What are his fears?   How am I going to teach him best?  What does he like?  What bothers him?   If you think of that repeating a zillion times a day in your head as you observe you can see why my brain was tired.  

My 11 yo didn't have such a great week.  Was it because of 10 yo bug boy?  I don't really think so, maybe a tad, but mostly it was those two test he was to do on Monday.  I didn't notice them ahead so he could have them written.  Soooooooooooooo he had a long week of refusing to work.   Such is life.   I am sure that having Bug Boy around played a part, but not the whole thing.  

Thursday we spent ALL day in town.  We played at the park.  Lots of good fellowship.  Then we had a LONG lunch with DIL and DH.  It was nice.  After that it was off to do my regular Thursday stuff.  We finished up at the Library.  After that Dh took the whole bunch home while I had a night of fun with other moms.   I might have gotten home late.   While I was away bug boy broke down and cried about leaving.  He got lots of reassurance.  With 3 big sisters all comforting he was able to go to sleep.

My plan was to sleep in, 6:30ish Friday morning.   I didn't get to.  I woke up about 5:45 ready to get up.  So I did my Bible time and finished gathering the things my bug boy needed to pack.  While he was here he had made some clay pendents.  I soaked them all in the oils I had been putting on him each night.  I told him when he was missing us or feeling sad to smell them.  I pray it helps him. 

Saturday we were off to the flea market.  It seemed lots of things reminded all of us of him.  We missed him!  I was ask several times if I had heard from his case worker.   I hadn't!   It was a fun day.  We didn't buy a think at the flea market but walked and looked and teased and laughed as a family.   Then ate out again!  

Sunday the older 2 boys went to help bless a young couple that are working on remodeling their kitchen.  Dad was going in later, as he also had to haul in two beeves to be slaughtered.   The big boys, forgot to leave an air tank of air for him to air a trailer tire up so he had to wait on them to haul beeves.  He was OK with that as with all this blessed rain mesquite grub well.  I spent the day just doing some fun things around here.  I made a blanket for a friend, can't wait for her to get it.  I did more toothpaste.  I read some and just hung out.  It was what I needed a down day after being on the go for 3 days before. 

Today I waited until almost noon to email case worker.  I thought I did great!   She is hoping he can come visit again the weekend of the 2nd.   I know two weeks!   My prayer is instead of a visit it will be a move.  I don't know how that will work out since his CW will be out of state, but God can do it.   He is able to do exceedingly above and beyond.  What needs to fall into place is subsidy and home school waver, besides him needing to get some appointments behind him.   So we continue to walk in faith.  We know God's timing is perfect.  I have to battle my wish that the timing was FASTER! 

Today I also managed to make laundry soap. I tried a new recipe.  http://www.onegoodthingbyjillee.com/2012/08/make-a-years-worth-of-laundry-soap.html  

3 bars Fels Naptha, grated ($1.33 x 3)
1 box Borax  ($5.85  -  76 ounces)
1 box Washing Soda ($4.07  -  55 ounces)
2 cups of baking soda ($0.53 cents)
2 containers of Dollar Tree Oxyclean (I bought mine at Family Dollar store…SUN Brand…$4.00 each)
1-2 containers of Purex fabric softener crystals ($6.97  -  28 ounces) 
Use 2 tablespoons per load. Put it right in the barrel if you have an HE washer.

I didn't use the fabric softener crystals, I didn't want the scent.  I will add a few drops of EO if I want it to smell.

I also came up with an idea to help (I hope), keep the kitchen cabinets clean (er)  maybe.   I cleaned an area then took a picture of it clean.  The cabinet top needs to look like that after they clean the kitchen after each meal.  I am hoping that there will be less excuses this way. 

We are busy planning for vacation.  I am excited but at the same time wondering how it will go with 7 kids.   We are doing lots of fun things.  It will happen in Sept.