Sunday, October 7, 2012

My 14 yo dd's poem

Ever wonder what it is like to be adopted?  How it feels?   My dd has been writing poems again.  This one I found very powerful and touching.   I ask her to share it with me.  She knows I tend to share with the world.  If it touches you please leave a commit so I can share with her.  I think she is very brave for what she writes and shares.
Sometimes…

 

Silence is louder than a scream.

Being left alone leaves me to

Wonder if I am in a dream.

 

Sometimes I try too hard to cry…

Other times I don’t even have to try.

 

I wonder if I died if anyone would miss me…

Is there anything in this world worth trying to be?

 

Sometimes…

 

I wonder if there really is a God…

If so, where is He hiding? In the

Hazy fog?

 

I wonder if I am ugly…

Too stupid… too chubby?

 

I try to do the best I can,

If you can hear my cries…

Could you lend me a hand?

 

I wish I could rest…

But instead I have to take

 Life test after test.

 

I am scared…

I do some things that without

Your help, I wouldn’t

Have even dared.

 

Sometimes…

 

I want a hug…

Other times leave me alone

When I move away and shrug.

 

There is no reason why I feel this way…

My trust for people grows just a little

Day to day.

 

I forgive my past…

I want the present to last.

 

Sometimes…

 

I love you…

What I told you is nothing but true…

 

Saying goodbye and I love you

Is not enough… I know… it

Is tough.

 

I don’t even get a chance to say goodbye…

And just like that they seem to die…

 

I may never get to hug my birth mom and dad…

I am sad… and a little mad.

 

Sometimes…

 

Being adopted is like a heart that broke…

And grief, pain, rejection seems to leave

Me to choke…

 

It hurts… sometimes…

 

Overall, I am a happy girl…

My life is in a crazy whirl…

 

Sometimes…

MNJ *10/7/12*

1 comment:

kathy said...

so profound. She is really in touch with how she feels. Try to tell her that EVERYONE weather adopted/foster EVEN non adopted as well as people in families that were not adopted have those moments and feelings. She only sees her life right now. Everyone only shows people what they are comfortable showing. We all have doubt,aloneness,fear regret & more. We all matter to someone and she does too.