Wednesday, November 9, 2011

When God’s Answer isn’t What You Expect

For 2 years D9 has struggled with anger and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).  Honestly he has struggled much longer, but I have only struggled for 2 years.   Imagine every time you tell your child to do the simplest thing it is a battle.   Choose your battle has always ben my motto.  I would choose even more carefully with him but most days were filled with defiance.   It wears on you.   It truly makes you not like the child.  Even when you know it is not his fault, but a product of his environment for many years that cause the issues.   Remember that he came on I think 5 meds, meds that weren’t working.   We got him off the meds and saw a dramatic improvement in him not trying to crawl out of his own skin.  It didn’t help his anger.   It didn’t make it worse either.  It was just there, the guiding force of his life.

As I have cried out to God for help with his anger I finally came to understand he needed something to cut the edge off his anger.  It was all consuming him.  He couldn’t heal until he could function outside the anger.   I still didn’t want to go the heavy duty meds that you get  from a doc.  After much prayer I felt I needed to search for homeopathic meds.   I know that many homeopathic meds work well.  I have used some of them over the years for different things.   After looking lots of places I ended up at Amazon.  Yes, Amazon!   Why?  They have reviews!   J   I typed in homeopathic ADHD  into the search.  It came up with lots.  I then tweaked it by only looking at those that had 4 stars or better.   Once I had it down to that I read the info.  Then read the reviews.   I arrived at a decision.   I ordered and prayed.   I ended up with  Brightspark For Children Add And Adhd Native Remedies   and  Native Remedies Triple Complex Mood Tonic Tablets, 360-Count Bottle    . These two fit what I felt would help him the most. 

I started giving them to him as soon as I got them.  It took a couple of days and I thought I saw more improvement in attitude.   After close to a week I knew I saw an improvement.  I knew he was getting school done better.  I saw less totally ODD behavior.  The down side was he was sleepy in the afternoon.  I backed off of the meds and the attitudes started coming back, so I went back on the amounts.  He didn’t get sleepy then.  I guess his body had to adjust to it or something.   He has been on them close to a month.  He hasn’t had a melt down in almost 2 weeks.   What I find most interesting is his ability to process things and own things.   He had called someone a name outside a bit ago.  I called him in and instead of having a melt down arugument over he didn’t say …..   He told me exactly what he said.  I told him to stop.  He said ok and off he went to play.   Today he swept the living room.  Instead of HOURS to sweep it and many redo’s he did it once in a reasonable length of time and did a good job.  

He told me today he had thought about doing right and it is harder, but when you do right you get to do more things and have more fun.   Yes, he is processing.   I am hearing lots of these discussions.  He was telling me today that as a mom I don’t have to be his friend.  I need to be a mom.   I told him I can be both, but when I have to choose then I need to be a mom first.   He agreed that was true.   These are out of the blue discussions.   I am finding I am really enjoying his company.   The sweet young man I knew was in there is shinning.  He is loving, and joyful, and caring to everyone, but especially the littles.  

We have an old geo-safari that we have had for 20 years.   HHe use to “play” it which was punch the button, watch the lights and listen to the sounds.  No playing or trying, just repeating that  over and over and over until I blew up.  Now he gets it and plays for long periods of time.  Often he has  1-3 littles watching and helping him.   He tells me the scores and is proud of them.  He helps the littles play and tells their scores too.  He is just a totally different child.   He still does wrong, but if doesn’t become a huge issue.  It is kid like, gets a kid consequence and life goes on.   I am so very thankful that I tried the homeopathic meds as they were an answer to prayer.  They are the tool God is using to transform him into a likable child.   His self control is so much better.  I laughed this morning as grandson was having a fit and D9 sweetly told him he didn’t need to throw a fit all the time.  Talk about the pot calling the kettle!    J   He is helping with chores and the others aren’t coming back screaming about and at him.  In fact they even said he is doing good at getting cow feed.   Little things like the other day I was taking clothes off the line.  He came out to swing.  I ask if when I finished taking clothes off the line he would open the door for me.   He swung until I had one or two pair of pants left.  Then he came to the door and opened it when I got there.  I ask him to get the pins and he brought them in.   Such a simple thing, but it was done RIGHT and with joy.  A month ago he would have saw how many ways he could do it wrong and make me mad.   I can rave on and on about the changes.  Each change doesn’t seem big, but roll them all together and life with him is a lot less stressfull and tough.    I give God the glory for it!   He is the healer!!!

1 comment:

Julie Zesch said...

Praise the Lord, such a beautiful post. Thank you for sharing!!!