Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Days of tears and fustration

Yesterday, D11 came in and said Freckles (dog that just had puppies) wasn't moving and there were flies.   Sure enough she was dead.  Why?   I think she had a pup hung in her.  I have been watching her close, but she acted fine.  In fact yesterday morning she was reminding one of the big puppies she was boss.   So I don't really know what was going on.  I picked up the three puppies to discover one was dead.   Just what I need is puppies to bottle.  They are taking a baby bottle well though.   Freckles was over 10.  DIL said son got her after they started talking on line, but way before the met in person.   I am just bummed.  I feel I should have done something, but even today don't know what.   I HATE loosing critters!  Especially long time critters.   That was the tears of the day.  

Frustration comes from children who choose to not do what they know they should.  I have had a running battle with girls and an alarm clock.   They sit it, we hear it and they sleep.   Finally I decided they could get up at 5 (when it goes off) for 7 straight days.   So they get up cut it off and go back to bed.   I explain that next time that happens they will do chores and sit all day.   They did have to test that.  They found it very long, boring and tiring.  I did get the kitchen extra clean that day as it was their day and they would rather clean than sit.    Amazingly they have been up with the alarm for 2 days after that.    Then T decided she would go poof instead of help me yesterday.  I was trying to do something on the computer, not even on the net.  One of those things that require concentration.  Grand daughter was playing in the floor.  T decided she didn't want to watch her so went and hid out in the bathroom.   So she got busted on that.   Then there is D8 who has never been taught self control.   He can do it, but sees no reason to.   I made him a card up that told him he was to SIT and do school, not getting up for any reason except to ask for help on a lesson or potty breaks.   If he didn't obey he would sit the rest of the day.   You guessed it, he had to test.  He spent the day yelling and screaming, "I DON"T WANT TO SIT".   We talk about self control.  We talk about choices.  I ignore him.   It makes for a LONG day, but so does him not doing school because he is popping up and down.   He can do the setting when he wants to.  It is a matter of him wanting too.   He is also doing this yelling at MN if my back is turned.  He is trying to get her in trouble.  I think at times she does things behind my back, but at this point I think it is about 99% him.   She has found her happy spirit again.    In part she doesn't take any junk off of him.  So she calls his hand on tiny things.   It has gotten bad in the bus.  I decided they could sit side beside until they can get along.  Should be interesting traveling with them.

We are working on planning vacation.  I really struggle with wanting to go every year and feeling guilty for leaving chores for others.  I do stream line it as best I can.  This year I need to see if son or DIL want to milk or if I need to dry a cow up.   I am praying that the other cow that is to calve in about a week or so will have a calf that can handle all her milk by Sept.   Other than that maybe the bottle babies will be big enough to make do, or I can stock pile some milk before for them.   Other than that there is gathering eggs and just checking things along.  I don't know why I feel so guilty asking others.  Anyway, I will be spending the next month trying to not feel overwhelmed with leaving stuff for others to do.  Stuff that for the most part I enjoy doing, but know others don't.

I am still working on moving my body.  I have walked every morning for over a week now.   I now pray in part as I walk that God would teach me to LIKE walking.  I look at people that run, it looks so free to do it but then reality sits in and I struggle with just walking.  I walk and pray and walk and sweat and walk and pray and sweat.  I am doing a mile and half in about 30 minutes.  I know many who do so much more.  I am just thankful for having a body that can do that.  I could do more, but that is about all the time I can sneak away.  Girls are up when I leave.  I need to be back before D8 gets up so I can start refereeing between him and MN.  Some days I don't have to, but I never know.

Time to go milk a cow!

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