Saturday, December 19, 2009

God's Awesome Answer!!

A wonderful adoptive friend whom I have known for many years on line offered to allow S to come stay with her family for a cooling off time. A time for us to welcome the boys and a time for us to lower the frustration level between S and us. We organised all the plans on the sly. This morning we announced "ROAD TRIP!". We gave S a list of stuff to pack. She will also be going on a mission trip while she is visiting. Then we all loaded in the excursion and off we went for parts unknown. No one knew where.

Once we started around the loop in San Antonio we explained to S what was happening. That she had made it totally clear she wasn't happy here. She was miserable and wanted everyone here to feel the same way. It wasn't fair to B & T or anyone else. She would be visiting with friends for a while. We told her we care enough to fight for her. We care enough to allow her to stay with friends where maybe she will be more happy.

I also explained that her stuff was going to be moved to a storage building and one months rent paid on the building. This, of course, after it is gone through and anything that isn't hers removed. I explained how storage buildings work. If she runs away I flush the key. Once she is 18 I will give her the key and the paper work for the unit and the location. It then becomes her problem as to if the rent is paid or they auction it off. She will be an adult and that would be an adult choice.

She did show a little emotion as we left. We did get hugs. I reminded her I loved her enough to fight for her. I reminded her again she is welcome back home.

Please everyone pray that this move is a blessing. That the new approach will help her. Here is my friends take on it:

I plan on using reality on her. Telling her that I am not here to babysit
her but help her to transition to adulthood (we all know it doesn't
magically happen on one birthday!). Such innocent questions as: do you have
your high school diploma, no, uhhhh well a GED? No, hmmmm, we will pick up
an application from McDonalds to make sure you know how to do that. Hmmmm,
can you do change? If the bill is $2.25 and they give you $5.25 how much
change do you give? Do you have a drivers license? Probably best you don't
since you won't afford a car working for minimum wage anyways. Is there a
bus system where you plan on going? Finally, are you definate that your
biomom is going to pick you up? What are your plans if she doesn't show
up? DD is planning on working on the "you are being a fool to give up
what you have" route.

Her DD is adopted and spent FIVE years wanting her bio mom before reality struck. They do understand where we are. They do understand our frustration and tears and hearts desires for her. They won't be suckered by puppy dog eyes and sad stories. They have fostered many years and adopted several kids so they have BTDT. It should be interesting!

Just finding a cooling off place and it being OFFERED not begged for is an act of God! I pray great things out of this for S.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

would love to hear any feedback. BIL SIL