I gave up about 5 and got up. On the surface I don't feel excited. I guess I am. I am also nervous. I am praying that all goes well this weekend. Boys are starting to get excited. I am glad. T hasn't thrown up in several days. The power of prayer! I know many many are praying.
Other news, S is working on trying to win the drama award. It really is hard to win the award without an audience. She has decided she is leaving. (This is according to the information stairway.) She spent yesterday packing. I spent yesterday ignoring her drama or laughing at it. I really don't know why she decided yesterday to pack. Kids would go up to see what she was doing now, come back and report. Since she isn't speaking to me all my information is more in the form of gossip.
She did come down with a letter in hand a while after dad got home. Information stairway had said she was going to have dad take her and all her stuff to the bus last night or this morning. (Stuff=probably more junk than a back seat would hold.) She came down while we were discussion bus options. We looked up and went back to discussion bus options. I was downloading a book on CD. We talked bus and CD and she sighed. We talked CD and bus and she sighed. Subject changed, life went on all the while she is setting there in her dramatic pose with her letter in hand. Finally it was stated that they all needed showers. She jumped at the chance and scurried back upstairs with her letter. Came back down in PJ's with no letter. I saw her snacking on the banana bread. Earlier when ask she had said she wasn't eating. Bed time came and we both got hugs. No kiss and no "I love you." Oh the drama!
I'm really not sure all her drama got her very far. Kids were excited she was packing. Could they have...... :) No tears from anyone, except maybe some crocodile tears from her. We talked about how we would miss her, but life would go on. I refuse to do the drama. This was high end drama! Even my other drama queen was disgusted. That says a lot. We talked about what life lessons each one could learn from this. How she has no plan. How she has no education. How silly it all sounds. This while school and packing and chores went on. Kids did ask dad if he would take her to the bus IF she ask. He assured them that if that is what she wanted he would be more than happy to take her, on her 18th birthday. That is in about 3 weeks. I'm sure that will be relayed to the drama queen.
I have been doing a lot of thinking as she does this drama. We knew going into adopting a teen it might be for a short time. We were offering a forever home, but they might not receive it. We have talked to S about it. How this is home as long as she wants. We will always be family. For what ever reason she just doesn't seem able to "attach". I guess the lure of the wild life is more than she can deal with. She has always had a mind set at 18 she would be kicked out. While this isn't the case at all, she seems to be bent on following through. I do know God called us to adopt her. I have no regrets. Nothing I would have done different. She will leave here when she does with a better education. She has an almost 8th grade education instead of the 3rd grade she came with. She is much healthier physically. She came on 5 meds, she is on none now. She has a much better understanding of nutrition. She knows sugar is not her friend and will send her spiraling back onto meds. I doubt she will follow through with avoiding sugar, but she does know it reacts badly in her body. By being around young moms and babies she has more knowledge of how to nurture a baby. Seeds have been sown on what a good marriage looks like. She has saw healthily families and relationships. I continue to pray that God will work in her heart and she won't leave at 18. I know she really REALLY isn't ready for the world. I also know God gave each of us free choice and I have to allow her to exercise it. I want great things for her, but I can't force feed them to her. The saying "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink" really applies here. We want her to stay to get her high school diploma and a college education. She wants ............ Arkansas, and all that has to offer.
Please keep her in prayer. Please keep us in prayer as we travel this weekend. Please keep the boys in prayer as they meet us. Pray that we jell as a family. That the spark is there. Please pray the drama is over for a while. Please pray that critters and stuff at home functions ok whle we are gone.